Friday, October 13, 2006
Oh my, it's Friday and, after finishing up my weekly routine here in mid-afternoon, I will head over to Ben's to be there when he gets home from work. This evening will be another new experience for us. We are having dinner with a couple of Ben's friends from his former church. It will be our first social gathering of this type as a couple and somehow I feel as though I am on display. Now he has assured me of how nice these folks are and I am sure all will be fine. In fact, on many levels I am looking forward to the evening. Still, there is that nagging voice asking, "What will they think of me?", "What if I make a social faux pas?" I know that all will go well and that it will be a lovely evening. Still, in many ways, it is like the coming out thing all over again -- oh they are fine with us being gay and all that, but still, up until the moment we ring the bell, I have been an abstract existencein their lives. They know ABOUT me, but now I am becoming a reality as are we as a couple. Maybe it's not just me that I am a little anxious about. Ben has beena friend and pastor to these folks. He came out to them and they have been fine with his being gay -- again, in the abstract. Tonight, for the first time, we will be "in their face". Oh, I don't mean that we will be sucking face on their sofa or anything. Still, knowing is different from seeing. I don't know why I am like I am today -- I know that I can function well in most social situations and that I do not have BO or two heads or stuff hanging out my nose. It will be a lovely evening. It will be a lovely evening. It will be a lovely evening. And I will be with Ben -- a place where I want to be as much as possible. He is so good to and for me. Well, I guess I'd better close this post before I get too mushy and before I have an online anxiety attack. Watch for a report on the evening in the next day or two. Hug someone special!
Posted by Old Pastor at 7:05 AM