AWAY!

Hey all! I will be away attending the annual Alliance of Christian Churches Advance in Livonia, Mi the rest of the week and will have, at best, limited internet access. I will try to keep up with stuff while I am away, but posts to this page may be interrupted. Fear not, I will be back and will check comments, mail, and all my favorite pages Sunday night and Monday. I will miss you all for this week. Hug someone special!

I Wonder How Many....

There are many conservative religious folks out there who claim that a person cannot be both homoesexual and a person of faith. Yet there are several blogs that I visit either regularly or occassionally that proudly proclaim and even talk about their religious faith and their sexual orientation. Based on my relatively small sampling, I can only imagine how many more GLBT folks of faith (ALL faith communities) there really are out there. I know that the number is far greater than folks like Fred Phelps, Jim Dobson, Jerry Falwwell (Oh, wait! He's leaving us alone at the moment and calling Ms. Clinton awful names), Paul Cameron, and a host of others might lead us to believe. And even though we are many, many of us often feel alone or isolated--isolated from the faith community of our choice because we are "that awful thing that they don't like" or isolated from the glbt community because "who needs religion?". I would really like to hear from you, your friends, your churches, temples, mosques, etc. either your story or at least your best guess estimate of percentages of GLBT people of faith. In projecting growth potential within my church which is predeominantly gay, I often consider the "ten percent" of the population that is glbt, and then consider even one percent as potential church members . That means in a city of 500,000, a church of 500 SHOULD be a do-able number. (I believe this formula allows for people of other faiths, people who are comfortable in other Christian groups, etc.) Yet, even with such a realtively small goal, we are more likely to be a church of 50-100. That tells me that either we are doing something wrong or there are still too many glbt people of faith who are in the faith closet. So, with National Coming Out Day looming (October 11), let's take a minute to come out to each other, to talk about how to connect with others of faith and how to reach the multitudes of glbt folks who have either lost or never had a faith journey. There is too much hopelessness in our community -- it's up to us to reach out -- how do we do it without sounding nutty? If you are gay and a person of faith, drop a comment -- forwwrd this post to your friends for their comments. I will update you on responses in a week or so. Let me hear from you.

A Little Religious Humor

Mutual Of Bethlehem
142 Annunciation Road
Bethelehem

Mrs. Mary Carpenter
22 Holiness Way
Bethlehem

Re: Claim #Mt281620

Dear Mrs. Carpenter:

We are in receipt of the above numbered claim against the life insurance policy issued some thirty three years ago to Yeshua ben Yahweh (aka Jesus). Unfortunately, we are unable to pay this claim based on the following

1. The reported death of Mr. ben Yahweh appears to be excluded under policy clause 47c which clearly excludes payment of claims in the event of death caused by an act of God. According to witnesses, Mr. ben Yahweh himself claimed that it was God’s will that the events that led to his death should occur.

2. Further, there are reports of Mr. ben Yahweh making wild assertions such as “The Father and I are One” and other clearly illogical and illegal statements. The company is under no obligation to pay if the death occurred as a result of illegal activity. Some have called Mr. benYahweh’s comments insane which, if proven so, would result in claim denial.

3. There is some dispute as to the legitimacy of the death claim. There have been several witnesses who have attested to seeing the insured alive some three days after the reported death. We clearly cannot pay benefits if the insured is no longer deceased.

4. In the event that it is determined that benefits from this policy are to be paid, there is the issue of the identity of the beneficiary. According to our sources, Mr. ben Yahweh’s death was to be for the benefit of the multitudes. Therefore, the multitudes may have a prior claim on the benefits of this policy.

We regret that we are unable to assist you further with this matter and suggest that, due to circumstances, you retain legal counsel to pursue a wrongful death suit against the chief priest, the Pharisees, the Sadducees, Pontius Pilate, the city of Jerusalem, and the Roman Empire.

Don't Have Time for Lazy

Here we are on Monday which is usually a lazy day for me. Today seems to be no exception. I have managed to send Ben on his way home, done a couple loads of laundry, checked email, and played a few computer games. I really don't have time to be lazy today. Tomorrow I have a job interview (PRAY FOR ME) and a meeting at church -- that will blow most of tomorrow, and Wednesday late morning L leave town for the rest of the week for a church conference. It will be nice to see old friends whom I haven't seen in a couple of years, and the conference itself will be uplifting. I will stop by Ben's on the way there and the way back, but no overnights this time. He is babysitting the dog for me -- ain't love grand? By the time I get back I expect that the cats and dog will either be getting along or Ben will be going nutzo. Any bets? Anyhow I think I will give the lawn a quick once over tomrrow morning and run the vac and do paperwork on Wednesday morning. I wonder when I will pack -- probably the last hour before leaving Wednesday. It was wonderful to have Ben here last night. He keeps telling me how lucky he is to have me in his life, but I tell him that I am the lucky one. God has brought me the kindest, gentlest, smartest,--well I could go on and on, but suffice it to say that Ben is as good as it gets in this life. Now if the job markets would cooperate, we could save a bundle on gasoline and spend more time together -- really together. Ah well, it will happen in God's time. That's all for now -- hug someone.

A Touch of Fall

The end of summer and beginning of autumn snuck up on me this week, but I was quickly reminded of the change as Ben and I visited Sleepy Hollow Sate Park in central lower Michigan the other day. It's a little early for the brightly colored leaves of fall, but the changes in color and weather let us know that the seasons are evolving and give us a little hint that snow is probably not real far away. We've reached the season where thoughts turn from baseball to football, picnics to hayrides, and shorts with sandals to jeans with shoes or boots. The days are getting shorter and the nights longer. Yet, the trials and challenges of life continue on. When we were in this season last year, I was just discovering and getting to know Ben -- now a year later, I continue to discover each day just how wonderful this man is and as I marvel in the beauty of the changing seasons, i marvel in the beauty of each new "Ben" discovery I make. But enough of the mush for now -- on to the rest of the weekend.

On Friday I left Ben's house and headed for the Detroit area to visit family. My aunt and uncle were visiting from Fort Collins, Colorado, so the whole gang (or most of us anyhow) gathered for a visit. The last time I saw this uncle was when I was visiting in Colorado in 2001. I arrived at their home the afternoon of the now infamous 9/11. I remember watching the TV coverage with horror, yet being thankful that I wasn't "alone" but was with family members. It was nice to see this really neat couple this time without the presence of a disaster. Once the relatives left Mom's house about 12:30AM (far past my beauty sleep hour), I headed for bed and a decent night's sleep. I got up, chatted with Mom a while, did a couple small household tasks for her, and then headed for home. I felt really odd as I drove past Ben's town without stopping in for a visit (He is away for the weekend, but I expect I will see him tonight. I didn't cry, but I did choke up a bit. As I passed each nearby exit, I was reminded of places we have been together and things we've done. So I decided that I am either crazy or crazy in love. In the interest of positive mental health, I opted for the second choice. So, Ben, when you read this consider yourself hugged and kissed. I was scheduled to be "off" from church this morning, so I am having kind of a lazy Sunday morning -- a rare treat. Of course, as I lounge about, I have two loads of laundry running, I have some church related computer stuff to do along with some cleaning.

So, in the interest of getting things done and so as to not bore any of my readers further, I will close this post with my wishes that you take time to enjoy the season, to hug that someone special, and to be happy. God bless..

Always Something New

Blogger BETA? Well, we shall see how it goes. I was just getting comfortable with the original and they upgraded stuff. Where will it stop? Anyhow, bear with me as we go through the change.

Letter to the Editor

Yesterday, Ben posted a link to an Advocate.Com article, which when I read it, prompted the following letter to the Editor. I agree that there is something wrong in a world that creates an atmosphere in which such self loathing is even possible. Read the article and my response and form your own opinion --


My responses to Kyle and his article are many. First, I am concerned for his physical, emotional, and spiritual well being. Physical because his apparent self loathing fueled by his church and his politics makes an excellent recipe for serious self harm. Emotional for much the same reason, and spiritual because he has fashioned a God of condemnation and hatred rather than the God of love, forgiveness, and wise Creator that I know.
My second response is anger -- here we are in 2006, still fighting the same fight that has gone on for generations and began in earnest decades ago. I am angry at churches who choose to interpret scripture to fit their narrow opinions and at politicians who achieve and retain positions of power by climbing on the backs of glbt people.
My third response is a profound sadness at the thought of another of God's beloved children hating himself for who God created him to be and heading down the road to having to choose between his "religion" and the truth of God's unique gift of sexuality.
Also, I am somewhat pleasantly surprised that this article made it into print in this venue. Yes, it is difficult subject matter for most Advocate readers, but it does a couple of things. First, it shows a balance in coverage and an openness to differing opinions. Also, it points out, regardless of how much progress has been made in our struggle, there is oh so much more to be done not just in society as a whole, but more importantly in our own community.
And lastly, it is possible to be Republican (though I can't imagine why one would choose to be in this time), Christian, Pentecostal, and gay. It means focusing on the larger picture than just glbt issues. It means seeking out a God within the context of faith and orientation (ah yes, it is possible). It is a tough road, but one that when travelled expands faith, politics, sexuality, and self awareness. My prayers and heart go out to Kyle that he might sort this all out without the pain and emptiness of ex-gay movements and such.

IQ?

Well, folks, the truth can now be told. Thanks to the folks at Tickle.COM, I've learned that I am not an idiot. Every time I call myself an idiot, Ben gives me a friendly bop to remind me not to put myself down. Well, darling Ben, I guess you are right. According to the folks at Tickle, I am not an idiot after all. So, if it's not a lack of intelligence keeping me from finding a job, what is it? Anyway, here's what Tickle had to say about my "test":

Your IQ score is 131

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Facts Curator. This means you are highly intelligent and have picked up an impressive and unique collection of facts and figures over the years. You've got a remarkable vocabulary and exceptional math skills — which puts you in the same class as brainiacs like Bill Gates. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.

Monday, Monday

Well, it's been a day of little odds and ends. Going to the bank, paying a couple of billes, figuring out that if I don't spend ANY money for the next two weeks, I can cover the first of the month bills. Of ocurse I hAve two trips across the state, one of which is a four day conference -- that means meals, etc, and of course a bunch of gasoline. Now all I have to do is figure out how to make those trips without spending any money --well, I will be frugal in what I spend, but I must spend some. God will figure out how it is all going to work out. This evening has been laundry time -- oh joy. It's been a crummy day out side, so I've been in the house most of the day and am going a little stir crazy. AND I miss Ben. I keep hoping that this will be the week when I hear something about a job. Sure would be nice to have something come through for me. We shall see. That is about all that's going on in my world today -- not what the hets would call the gay lifestyle-- LOL. Anyhow, the rest of the week should hold a bit more excitement, so I guess I will get myself geared up and ready. Hope your Monday has been good. Have a great week and hug someone!!

A Wonderful Weekend

Ben arrived on Friday afternoon and we went to meet friends for dinner and then on to a reception for our statewide GLBT organization. Saturday morning we headed out to tour the local Harvest Festival (That took less than an hour and was, at best, disappointing). We got in the mood for craft fairs and tracked one down in a neighboring community so off we went. The accompanying picture was taken in the play yard of the daycare center next door to the festival site. After seeing the eyes on this creature I vowed that no child of mine would ever be enrolled there--it was just too creepy. From there we took a "Ben tour" -- we found towns and roads that I never knew existed. We did find one "seasonal road" that dead ended in some woods. Now, use your imagination -- two people in love at the end of a country road in the woods on a nice fall day--and I need say no more. Actually, we were seeking out a nice park for one of our fun cookouts -- signs pointing to parks didn't seem to lead anywhere and eventually we made our way back to Paris and dined on steak and sweet corn in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower. How romantic -- seems we will always have Paris. We came home and got some rest and then headed back down to the festival for the parade of emergency vehicles. There were fire trucks from lots of nearby small communities. We left before they made their second pass down main street -- this time with full sirens. We heard them blocks away and were thrankful that we still had our hearing. Today it was church and a restful afternoon. Ben is about to head home for a another busy week. This is where I should insert the sad face, but the weekend with him was so wonderful I can bask in its glow for the next several days. I am a very happy and blessed individual and wish the same for you and yours. Hug that special someone and be blessed!!

All the Comforts of Home

I guess Ben and I are an "approved" couple. My poodle, Amber, has certainly taken well to her new stepdaddy as the accompanying picture will attest. Now if his cats learn to like me all will be well; if not, can anyone recommend a boarding school for cats? Just kidding -- all will be well.

No Negativity

I got an email from a friend today telling me that I have been focusing on the negative things in my life and situation rather than looking at the positive things in life. It seems that I have indeed been griping about the job situation, the fact that Ben lives 100 miles away, the problems in the apartment building, and so on. The truth is that there are any number of positive things and abundant blessings that I know are there, but somehow it is so easy to fall into negativity. Some blessings -- I woke up this morning, I have a full belly, the bills are all current, I have a man who loves me, there are some real friends here in the building, I have a roof over my head, and (at the moment) a couple of bucks in the bank. I have a family who is supportive and a church family who is behind me 100 percent. I live in one of the wealthiest countries (no matter how misguided it is at the moment) in the world, and the list goes on. So, with all that stuff going for me, why do I fall into the negativity trap? It's probably because it is so easy to become the "victim" whether that is a real or perceived role. So, tonight I count my blessings, chin up, and know that the "bad stuff" will all fall into place. I also konw that if I dwell on the negative, I will go into a depressive tailspin and accomplish nothing. So -- thank yo,u God, for all the blessings, and thanks to my friend for giving me a wake up call. Thanks to all you readers who let me vent about stuff.

Life Really Does Suck!

God or the Internet fairy has a wicked sense of humor. I was in the midst of a rather lengthy post about all the things going haywire in life and was nearly finished when -- you guessed it -- the computer did some weird thing and lost all of my brilliant ramblings. Add that to all the rest which I will attempt to recap here and you have the evidence of the suck-iness (a new word I coined for this occasion) of life. Before I was rudely interrupted by a computer blip, I was talking about how I got a phone call last week for a job interview today. I went for the interview expecting to either be hired or not hired. Instead, after a half hour interview, I got, "I'm still interviewing and will call you next week one way or the other." It was disappointing to say the least. Who knew that there was such fierce competition for a part time clerk position at the local library? At least I got a response -- that's more than I have received from most of the hundreds of resumes and applications that have gone out. Most of the time it seems that they go to cyberspace or file cabinet heaven if they are received and reviewed at all. Employers -- give us seekers the courtesy of a response. Even a rejection is better than nothing. That way we know where we stand and that someone took the time to at least glance at our documents. Well, besides that job situation (which truly does suck), I heard from Ben (the high point in my day) and he is experiencing similar sucky feelings. Besides similar job feelings, his mortgage just went up and the papers he sent into the church for transfer all need to be re-done. It seems they went to the wrong office--well, DUH, how about forwarding them to the right person or office in the denomination? Besides all that, the weather sucks today. The real kicker of suckiness for me is that Ben is there and I am here. There's nothing I'd like better tonight than to be curled up with him in front of the fireplace offering and receiving support and comfort. But between the gas, the weather, the time, and other commitments tomorrow, that trip would be irresponsible. So he will be trying to find a friend there to socialize with (It won't be the same as with me--but at least he will have someone to talk with). In preparation for sitting home alone, I looked at the TV listings and they too suck. Guess I can watch a movie, play on the Internet, or -- God forbid -- read a book. Sorry if I sound whiney tonight, but this has been a really crappy day and I don't know what's on the horizon for tomorrow. Pray that it gets better. Thanks for "listening."

Monday, Monday!!

Well, Fall is surely here. I woke up this morning to cool temperatures and rain. Over the weekend, I saw several places where the leaves are changing color or falling off the trees. This would have been an excellent day to stay in bed and snuggle, but there was no one here with whom to do so. Monday is usally kind of a down day, and today s no exception. I will scan the Sunday papers for job opportunities, do a general clean up around the building, surf the web for a while, and then get ready to to to a meeting this evening. At least it's a dinner meeting so I don't have to figure out what's for dinner. Tomorrow I have a job interview, Wednesday is church day, Thursday there's a dinner here in the building, Friday begins another weekend with Ben, and so the week goes. Well, that's about all the rambling for this morning. Whatever your Monday brings, smile, say a kind word, and love the one you're with. It makes the world a brighter and better place.

And We Have a Winner

America has voted and there is a new HGTV Design Star - David won as I expected. During the course of the show there was some amazing talent displayed, but I really thin that David was the best and America agreed. I wonder how the voting on these reality TV shows compares to the voting turout for Presidential elections. Hmmm-- maybe we need to do a show to select a president. I don't think the results could be any more disastrous than what was achieved in the past two presidentail elections. Hmm -- let's take that idea to the networks. Anyway, watch for David to s how up in HGTV's line up in Spring 2007. I expect we will see amazing things.

DesignStar Final

Tonight is the night for the DesignStar finals on HGTV. It's down to Alice vs. David and the final vote was left to the audience with internet and text message voting. I think that David will be the final winner, but who knows? I predict that David has the gay male vote tied up and most of the straight female vote as well -- whether he can design or not, but he is really good at what he does. Only time will tell--stay tuned!

A New Companion?

I took the accompanying picture of my poodle Amber, curled up on Ben's chair with his stuffed dog puppet. I wonder if Amber was feeling a little outnumbered by Ben's cats and thought she found an ally. Anyway, it was too cute so I thought I'd share it with you.

Sunday Afternoon

Well, it's been a wonderful weekend. Ben came over on Friday and promised me a trip to Paris. Well, that's where we went -- Paris, MICHIGAN!! We did get to visit the Eiffel Tower (Michaigan style), and took time to feed the fish in the ponds nearby. On Saturday, since it was cold and icky, we decided on a movie. We went and saw "The Illusionist". As the movie opened, I wasn't too sure about what was in store, but as it unfolded and I got more into it, I found it to be entertaining and fascinating. The movie is well worth the good reviews I've seen. We came home, made chili, and watched Santa Clause II. Today was church and an afternoon meeting. Ben has headed home to get ready for a temp job he starts tomorrow and I have laundry in the washer -- the mundane tasks of life. On Friday I did receive a call for a job interview for a part time job I applied for several weeks ago. So keep me in mind and prayer on Tuesday afternoon -- it's not the dream job I'm looking for, but it will supplement my income and allow me to do some things I have had to put off for a while. As always, my time with Ben was magical and much too limited -- perhaps one of these days, we can eliminate the commute.....all in good time. Anyway, hug the one you love and be good to each other.

Feeling Whiney Tonight

Well, here it is Wednesday night and I am feeling particularly whiney. There's nothing specifically wrong or bad happening, but I am just kind of "whelmed" tonight. I am missing Ben, I feel loaded with church stuff (it's the busy week of the month), the apartment job is its usual whacky thankless self, and I am just tired. I'm not really sleepy and I'm not so fatigued that I can't move, but I am just at the point of wondering how much of my life is worth it. Ben is worth it --absolutely no question there ; church is worth it; the apartment job is - at the moment - a necessary evil. I know that after a good night's sleep and a productive day or two, I will be fine. In the meantime, I guess I will just whine a litte, hug the dog, and go to sleep. Thanks for letting me vent. Love yourself and don't get too stressed out.

What a Great Day

What an incredible day. After Friday night at Ben's he and I headed back to my place for the weekend. Today we spent the morning in church (a great thing to do with someone special). After church stuff was done, we headed out for an adventure. Our journey took us out on some country roads and during the trip we encountered the house pictured here. The great thing about this place is that it was a schoolhouse that was built in 1906. Ben is so adventurous -- he stopped and we talked to the owner and even got a tour of the inside. It was incredible!!! From the original blackboard to the original ceiling and even a drinking fountain that works to the great rose garden outside, it was a joy to see.

From there we headed to Holland State Park for a look at the beach and at -- you guessed it - another light house. It was a beautiful day and we had a good time., Then it was home for some quiet time and dinner. We just watched DesignStar on HGTV -- We are betting on David naturally--and now it's just about bedtime. Tomorrow , it's back to Ben's house until Tuesday. I have an appointment there on Tuesday and he will be doing the job hunt thing again. Enjoy the rest of the holiday weekend and drive carefully.

Gas Watch

What a relief!! We found gas today for 2.45 a gallon. While that's not cheap compared to a couple years ago, it is the best we''ve seen lately!