Well, here it is Saturday night and I am looking at a Sunday service for which I have no real enthusiasm. The sermon prep I've done (or not done as the case may be) shows my lack of desire or drive to be there and minister to these folks. We have reached the point of trying to decide whether or not this is a viable congregation with any potential for growth. We shall see how that process goes. The day will start with Bible Study at 930 (if anyone shows up for it), then service, then a Board meeting, a couple hours of "off"time, and then work for 6 hours and end up getting home about 1130 or midnight. Welcome to my Sunday.
That kind of day is piled on the crappy evening I had tonight. I am less than thrilled with my current position. I am getting so tired of demanding and ignorant consumers. They want sale prices on items NOT included in the sale, they are all in a dreadful hurry, they want something for nothing, and they bitch when they don't get their way -- which usually leads to management caving in and kissing their asses. Our question is not whether or not to bend over, but rather -- how far and for how long. I could see a future in this kind of work if the pay were better. I am just above minimum wage, which is far too little to put with the bullshit that comes my way in a day. Besides the customers, the pace of work is often nuts. I have to call and get permission to take the breaks and lunch periods that are mine under the laws and the contract, and am often made to feel guilty for asking. All too often I end up at the desk alone while co-workers are either pulled to other tasks (because they won't hire the help needed to do the jobs) or are goofing off doing nothing somewhere else in the store. I don't claim to be perfect -- I like some down time and fun time on the job as well, but still the job and the customers come first. It pisses me off when co-workers are standing around chatting and laughing and generally screwing off when there are customers to be dealt with. Am I wrong?
Well, as you can tell from the tone of this post, I am not a very positive frame of mind at the moment. I will go to church tomorrow and be wonderful and I will go to work and deal with more of the same. The sun will come up and I will live the day.
As I was talking with a co-worker about his future plans, I came to the realization that the only things holding me in Michigan (the unemployment capital of the nation) are my family and my partner (and he's as ready to move as I am). I am facing additional loss of income at years end and beyond as the church gig ends and unemployment runs out. That will leave me with this lovely part time job that will in no possible way cover the expenses.
The frustration level for us is almost insurmountable. I thank God for Ben and his patience with me as I rant and rave and as we look at an uncertain future -- where will we be? How will we live? Is there a future in the church? Am I destined to minimum wage level jobs with crabby customers? In the words of Doris Day, What will be will be. Stay tuned for updates as they become available.