Well, it's been 10 days since I posted, and what a time it's been. I have come to realize even one more time that life is tough and I am really tired of the uphill battles and struggles. Between stress and trials at work, medical stuff, two or three customer service battles, and the crisis we are facing in housing, income, and future, I am exhausted. I begin to wonder what's the point?. So far this post is pretty vague, but there's a few examples to follow, so keep reading.
Last Sunday I ended up at the local urgent care clinic with a blood pressure that should (If I had insurance) landed me in ER. Instead the doctor lectured me, gave me two prescriptions, and instructed me that any pain would a sign to head to ER. More than 100 bucks later, I was home resting. Things are calming down thanks to medicine. What bothers me with this whole story is that I have needed to visit the doctor and deal with medical issues for months, but without insurance the costs are restrictive or prohibitive. When is this country going to realize the depth of the health care crisis?
Then there's been the week at work. The company where I am working has changed Contract Houses for Temps. That means I have a new employer. Now, you would think that all the wrinkles would have been worked out BEFORE they actually made such a major change. Yeah, in a perfect world. Today ends the first full pay period and it was on Friday that we received info on how to enter our time -- now we will wait until Monday morning (the deadline for reporting time) to see if it all works. On top of that, the project I'm on is getting stupid! When it started, it was supposed to be for about a month -- that was a month ago Friday. At least two or more times a week, we are on a conference call with our colleagues in Malaysia and Europe receiving more training (hmm -- a month in and more training -- doesn't sound quite so temporary). The most recent training was for a task for which we don't have the required file accesses. SO -- Why train us for something we aren't able to do? Would make more sense to me to get the access first and then train us and let us do the work. The stress level on the job is a key factor in the blood pressure battle I am certain.
On Monday, I took the new car in for service. I bought it the end of May with 25400 miles on it, and have put about 4000 miles on it. The service advisor informed me that it was time for the 30000 mile service at a cost of nearly 600 bucks. I blew my cork -- that should have been done as part of their "certified pre-owned vehicle" process. I called HONDA's national customer service number where I spoke with an agent who appeared to have not cared less. Between this experience and others with the dealership and corporate, I informed them in that call and by mail that I would not purchase another HONDA. I love the car, but if they don't care about their customers, then I will seek a manufacturer who does. Of course, it will be years before that threat (or promise) will be exercised, but I did let them know that I would be sharing the story with LOTS of people.
On top of all that is the reality that in just 6 weeks Ben and I have to be out of the house. We have no idea where we are going, whether Ben will have a job, how we are going to pay for a place or a move, what to keep and what to sell, etc. It's like moving in the dark!
My most likely reaction to all of this is to pretend none of it is happening -- I think they call that avoidance. But, with deadlines rapidly approaching and bills still arriving, avoidance would be deadly. So, I try to deal with each piece of the puzzle as it comes. Ben is wonderful in putting up with me, but I know that he is as much a basket case as I am. It seems that when I'm down, he's okay, and when I'm okay, he's down. We support each other and do the best we can. There's no quick solutions and this is not a bid for sympathy or anything like that. It's just me sharing where my life is going. If you are a praying person, keep us in prayer. Beyond that, it will all work out somehow -- it just seems too hard. Anyhow, hug someone special and have a great weekend.
2 comments:
Reading you (and Ben's posts) take me back to the final years/months with my "ex". No money, no job, no home, no insurance, no car. It is not pretty. My heart (and my prayers) go out to you both.
Good post. Glad you got it out.
Been there, done that, have all the tee-shirts!
In the past 19 months I have had 3 surgeries, my partner of 30 yrs left me for another guy, lost all insurance, and went from home owner to homeless person in less than two months.
Less than a month ago I found an affordable apartment, and between my church, my faith, and the folks I work with I have finally begun to heal and regroup. My place is my sanctuary and a place where I can pray, meditate, and just be quiet alone.
Please take care of the blood pressure. Trust me, it is worth the effort.
And don't let the outside stuff get in the way of your thinking important things through. Stress is not good for blood pressure, either.
You're in my prayers, as well.
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