Monday, November 30, 2009

A Most Unusual Week

Well, it was an odd weekend and the next couple of days promise their fair share of oddity as well.  Friday, we headed to the Detroit area to be with my sibs and to make the final arrangements for Mom's funeral.  I've been involved in such things from the perspective of a Pastor but this was the first time I was integrally involved in the planning as a surviving family member.  Thankfully, Mom had pre-planned a good bit of it (including a page long list of people to call).  Last night was the first visitation.  I saw some of Mom's school chums (she's known them for somewhere in the vicinity of 80 years -- can you believe it?).  It went well, though there were lots of folks I didn't know.  Today, Ben will go to work and I will head back over for eight more hours of visitation.  I expect that one brother absent last night should be with us today and my daughter should be arriving from Tennessee.  Tomorrow is the pre-service visitation, the funeral, luncheon, and then the family graveside service.  It was interesting to see Mom laid out -- I guess the funeral people did a "good job", and while it looked like Mom, there was a special sparkle of life that was missing.  I was expecting to get all emotional at that first sight of her now empty shell, but because that spark of life was not there, it was not nearly as difficult as what I had prepared myself for.  I am having (and will continue to have) moments in which I tear up a bit or when I remember a special moment or something, but for the most part I recognize that death is a necessary rite of passage on our life journey and I celebrate Mom's transition.  She will be missed by many, but her influence will live on in her children, grandchildren, friends and acquaintances.  Once we get through the next couple of days perhaps life can exit this surreal time and move forward.


Lemuel said...

My prayers continue with you and your family. I recall similar feelings with the deaths of my father and my mother many years ago and, again most recently with the death of my MIL this spring at age 96+. What finally did tip my emotions over the edge with all of them was to see the emotions of my sons pour out.

Ur-spo said...

It can be surreal.
sometimes the emotions happen afterwards, so be mindful.
good luck to you and all of this.